self_composed | plotting to unnerve her

Bella finds Milliways in the moon palace instead of one of her balconies.

"Huh," she says aloud.

Then, to Alice, Libby, Elena, and Mary, and Lazarus except he autoreplies with a busy message, [Hey folks, Moonstone Palace grew a bar that I don't remember putting in, come check it out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

manofmyword

"Storytime," he says immediately, perking up in his chair. "I like storytime."

From:

self_composed

"After we'd known each other for a few days and had a handful of casual conversations and I'd broken up a fight between him and a random classmate in the cafeteria, he invited me over to his house. Before I said yes, I told him I was going to conduct an experiment. I put my dad the police chief's number into my phone, hovered my finger over the call button, and called him a freak. And he asked me to marry him." She pauses. "I said no."

From:

manofmyword

He tilts his head and, very slowly, smiles.

"Well. Now I think I'm kinda in love with you."

From:

self_composed

Bella snorts.

From:

manofmyword

"My story isn't nearly that sweet."

From:

self_composed

"Storytime," Bella prompts softly.

From:

manofmyword

"To start with, I kinda had a thing for her before we met." He smiles reminiscently. "Girl dresses up as a giant bat and starts beating up criminals, what am I supposed to do? Not fall for her? I was fucking smitten. So, y'know, some other guy might write a love letter in that situation. Me, I rob a bank."

He cocks his head and grins.

"Actually, I robbed five, but who's counting? Anyway. It's the last one that counted. I walked out with a chunk of change belonging to several mob bosses, they got all riled up, I taunted 'em a little, and thennnn they hired me to kill 'er."

From:

self_composed

"She dresses up as a bat?" Bella says quizzically. "And mob bosses hired you to kill her? Okay... what're you planning to do with a job like that?"

From:

manofmyword

"She makes a terrifying bat," he assures her. "If you're thinkin' cheap Halloween costume, stop. And this was ages ago, we'll get there, don't worry."

He rubs his hands together and continues.

"So I was never gonna kill her, obviously, I like her too much. I got myself caught instead." He smiles wistfully. "You ever been in a police interrogation room? You should take your boyfriend to one sometime, they're fun. She cracked a safety glass window with my face."

From:

self_composed

"Terrifying expensive non-festive bat," amends Bella. "Got it. Go on."

From:

manofmyword

"And then, y'know, I bombed the place and took a hike, and it was all very exciting for a while, and at the end..." he looks distracted for a moment, smirks secretively, then shakes his head and continues, "We fought it out in a half-built skyscraper and she threw me outta the top floor. And like I said, caught me halfway down." He shrugs. "Now I'm locked up, and she's out there somewhere hating my guts, and someday I'll get out and we'll do it all over again."

From:

self_composed

"And as long as you have access to some door you can sometimes pop into Milliways for a bit," Bella says. "Interesting. Is it satisfactory for her to hate your guts? Wouldn't you rather she liked you?"

From:

manofmyword

"She's never gonna like me," he says. "She couldn't. I mean, even if I hadn't killed a girl I'm pretty sure she was fucking, she is ve-e-ery much about law and order and I... am very much not."

From:

self_composed

"Well, yes, killing someone she liked is not conducive to such a plan," Bella says. "Although I feel compelled to point out that a fondness for law and order isn't incompatible with whimsy. Even a very, very terrifying-expensive-nonfestive bat costume requires some whimsy somewhere."

From:

manofmyword

"Whimsy," he says. "Sure."

From:

self_composed

"Yeah, I'm getting the impression that Alice-types who do not encounter Bella-types quick enough go from whimsical to something a little less socially acceptable."

From:

manofmyword

"Smart cookie."

From:

self_composed

"Yeah. I only had to cheat with a little magic to get into Stanford."

From:

manofmyword

"Tell me, smart cookie," he says, "say I kidnapped a lady you had the hots for, and you had me locked in a room and could do annnnything you wanted to make me talk. Well, anything you'd do with half a dozen cops watching you through one-way glass. How would you play it? No cheating."

From:

self_composed

"No cheating?" Bella says. "I've gotten very accustomed to cheating." She thinks. "Are the cops a threat to me, or just potentially embarrassing? My first idea isn't a problem either way, I'm just sussing out option-space."

From:

manofmyword

"Batsy shoved a chair under the door before she started throwing me around. So no, not a threat."

From:

self_composed

"Wait, was that the first thing she did? She didn't expend twelve seconds on saying where is the lady I have the hots for first just in case that worked?"

From:

manofmyword

"Hah! Actually, one'a the cops asked me a couple questions first. Great guy. I like him. He turned his back on me, and you gotta have some balls to do that, if you're a Gotham cop." He quirks a smile. "Bats, though, the first thing she did was slam my head into the table."