plotting to unnerve her

[self_composed]

Bella finds Milliways in the moon palace instead of one of her balconies.

"Huh," she says aloud.

Then, to Alice, Libby, Elena, and Mary, and Lazarus except he autoreplies with a busy message, [Hey folks, Moonstone Palace grew a bar that I don't remember putting in, come check it out.]

Comments

[manofmyword]

"I'm not in jail," he says. "Technically. I'm in an innnstitution for the criminally insane. And I can walk out anytime I want; their security's a--" he licks his lips "--heh, joke."

[self_composed]

"I'm kind of surprised they left you in the makeup and the custom outfit," Bella says. "Don't they usually put everybody in unattractive smocks in those places?"

[manofmyword]

"Sweetie," he says. "I'm dreaming, remember?"

[self_composed]

She tilts her head. "That wasn't given to me as part of my Milliways explanation, but I suppose it could have been incomplete."

[manofmyword]

"I don't think it's usual," he explains. "But I'm kinnnd of a special case. I think they're afraid of what I'd do, if I came in the normal way. 'Cause every time I'm about to do something particularly, hmm, un-friendly--" he snaps his fingers, "I wake up!"

[self_composed]

"Interesting," says Bella. "All part of the lovely security system that renders my alternate willing to let her daughter come here, I suppose."

[manofmyword]

"I'm dangerous," the Joker says agreeably. "According to whoever runs this place, I am apparently more dangerous than anybody."

[self_composed]

"Or at least more interested in being dangerous," Bella remarks. "I rather wonder if you'd pass my alternate's daughter's safety test. You're just a non-magical human, right? Albeit a... psychologically unique sort?"

[manofmyword]

"Plain old, plain old," he affirms.

[self_composed]

"So I guess the only reason my alt's daughter wouldn't feel safe bringing you home would be if she didn't think anyone around her would be willing to kill you if you acted up, and somehow I don't think that's a problem her culture has. I'm now wondering why your Bat Lady hasn't killed you. You mentioned before she wasn't scared of the cops."

[manofmyword]

"Well, I don't know for sure," he says. "But she's got two good reasons not to. One iiiiis, she doesn't like to kill people. Thinks it's wrong, or something. And the otherrr," he smiles, "is that if she kills me, I win. But I don't know if she knows that. She might."

[self_composed]

"If she cares more about not liking to kill people - let alone about you winning - than about people dying, I'm not terribly impressed with her," Bella says. "It's not like you happen to be innocently radioactive, that would be an actual moral dilemma."

[manofmyword]

"If I didn't know better," the Joker says amicably, "I'd think you were flirting."

[self_composed]

"I like the one I have already better," says Bella.

[manofmyword]

"I know."

[self_composed]

"And how is telling you I don't think much of your crush's ethics flirtatious, even by your standards?"

[manofmyword]

"You're telling me that you'd kill me if I made you have to," he says. "To me that's pretty much like offering to blow me under the table. But I bet you didn't mean it that way."

[self_composed]

"Indeed not."

[manofmyword]

"But if you think she should kill me, why haven't you?"

[self_composed]

"You're not my problem. I have an empire to run, I'm not an interdimensional vigilante. Besides, several of my goals for that empire would be easier to achieve if I retained routine access to Milliways, and I don't think the bar likes it when her customers try to kill each other - as you've noticed. And, you're asleep. Most people, when they die in their dreams? Don't die in real life. I doubt magical solutions would hold, for the same reason - and I have no way to check, either way."

[manofmyword]

"Not your problem," he hums. "Oh, sweetie, you disappoint me."

[self_composed]

"There are probably dozens of you," Bella says. "And dozens more people who aren't you whose worlds could also benefit from their deaths. That's simply not my career choice, and even if it were, it wouldn't be consistent of me to attack one target of opportunity that I can't check up on, and likely lose any chance to perform equally or more useful assassinations under better conditions. Given that I've chosen to do something else with my life, it would be stupid to attack you and torpedo my ability to use Milliways to do what I originally planned to do, which is start up trade with alternate Empress Bellas and similarly congenial folks to improve quality of life for all our empires."

[manofmyword]

"Well you sure are a cold customer."

[self_composed]

"When called for, I can be."

[manofmyword]

"I like it," he confides.