plotting to unnerve her

[self_composed]

Bella finds Milliways in the moon palace instead of one of her balconies.

"Huh," she says aloud.

Then, to Alice, Libby, Elena, and Mary, and Lazarus except he autoreplies with a busy message, [Hey folks, Moonstone Palace grew a bar that I don't remember putting in, come check it out.]

Comments

[self_composed]

[I'm here.]

She doesn't want him freaked out, or anything.

[edgeofyourseat]

[Sorry I told you to fuck off.]

She saw that, right? She has to have seen that. Maybe it didn't get through.

[self_composed]

[Apology accepted.]

"Alice doesn't even know about Batlady, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he unexpectedly decided to teleport downstairs," Bella tells Roberta. "What do you want to do about that?"

[edgeofyourseat]

He tries to say something else, but he can't quite get the words together, can't figure out how to ask if it's changed how she thinks of him, watching what he just did. If she's okay, if she's okay with him, if she's mad at him for fucking around (she said she wouldn't be, but sometimes you just don't know unti it happens) or for wanting something from the Joker that he could never in a million years get from her or for being this fucked up or for being, suddenly and with help, okay with being this fucked up.

[manofmyword]

"Shhh-hhh, honey," the Joker murmurs, cuddling him.

[edgeofyourseat]

Roberta looks conflicted for a moment.

Then she says, "Pretend we were having an unrelated conversation?"

[self_composed]

"We were talking about puppies," Bella says agreeably.

[I was scared,] Bella tells him.

She pauses, then says, [I want Lazarus to have another look at you when we get home.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[I'm sorry,] Alice says helplessly. He's not sorry he did it, any of it, but he's sorry it scared her. It scared him, too, but the difference is that he wanted it to. She probably didn't.

Also: Lazarus? The hell?



"Puppies," Roberta agrees.

She does not look like someone who has been talking about puppies recently. Unless the puppies in question were dying, perhaps of rabies.

[self_composed]

"And maybe some about my Martian empire," Bella says. "And... what topics would you admit to that you find super-depressing? Because you look super-depressed."

[You remember testing the agony beam? You told me - that if you had mixed feelings and I couldn't get an answer from you about whether you were done or not - that it should stop.]

Pause.

[This wasn't exactly the same situation, but I was scared. And when those conditions were met today, I tried to get you out. And I couldn't. The bar denies involvement. The Joker's world is - I think - devoid of magic. That leaves your ingot power. It does more than we thought it did and I want to know what.]

[edgeofyourseat]

"My parents," offers Roberta.



[...okay, but Bella,] he says, [the reason you couldn't get an answer out of me is 'cause I wasn't letting you talk to me. On purpose.]

He's a little mad that she tried. He would've been a lot madder if she'd succeeded. He forgives her, though, because he loves her, and she was scared, and she was being herself.

[If I'm with this guy, and I don't ask you to get me out, don't get me out.]

As for his ingot power... fuck if he knows. He's as confused as she is.

He's glad it works that way, though. This was good for him. He wants to do it again.

[self_composed]

[And because your thoughts did not include that information,] she replies, feeling prickly about it. [And because it was not discussed beforehand. Now it's been discussed, but... I don't like it. He's not safe - I don't just mean that in the obvious way, I mean he's psychologically dangerous. Today worked out. And he's exactly the sort of person to try something else next time for that reason. We do know your power prevents mental tampering. I cannot fix you if he breaks you. I don't want you broken.]

"Got it," Bella says to Roberta.

[manofmyword]

"Trouble in paradise?" murmurs the Joker. "How's smarty pants?"

[edgeofyourseat]

"How the hell'd you know I was talking to her?"

[Bella,] Alice reminds her, [he's me. I don't want me broken either.]

[manofmyword]

"I know everything," he teases.

[self_composed]

[Alice. You will notice that I do not drink blood and I am not married to a man a century my senior who always looks like he's auditioning for Most Angsty and I don't have a kid or theme my empire around my eye color. He's not you. He's like you. He could've been you, maybe. But he's not the same, and it wouldn't be great for you to grow up to be just like him. He goes around killing people.]

[edgeofyourseat]

He grins and shakes his head, ignoring the Joker for now.

[I love you,] he says. [Look, it's different. You don't think of you as you but we think of us as me.] A slight pause. [Fuck, that was incoherent as damn, did you get it?]

[self_composed]

[She's me in different circumstances. I know a lot about her. But we've had different histories after roughly the point where we moved to our respective Forkses. We can respect each other's decisions even if we haven't had to make the same ones.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[So maybe it's not that different,] he says. [This guy is who I could be in ten years if I wasn't magic and in love with you. I get him, and he gets me, and I trust him. I know he's gonna hurt me, I know he's gonna mess me up, and I know he's gonna make sure I'm okay after.]

[self_composed]

[How do you know that last part?] Bella insists. [If I met someone with my face who'd taken up terrorism I would not trust her, even if I found her fun to talk to.]

[edgeofyourseat]

[You're not me!] says Alice. [You couldn't take up terrorism and still be you. I could take up terrorism and still be me. If you're not okay with him because he's the kind of person who might do that, then you're not okay with me, because the only reason I know I won't is it would make you sad and I love you and I don't ever wanna make you that sad.]

[self_composed]

[He's the kind of person who reacts to having feelings for someone by kidnapping their loved ones to see what they'll do,] Bella says. [Are you that, too? And he isn't just like you except for having not met me or found magic! You were eighteen when you met me and found magic and he diverged before that and I don't know why.]

[edgeofyourseat]

At first, the part about kidnapping loved ones confuses the hell out of him. He tries to match that image against his feelings for Bella, and utterly fails.

But then he remembers the very first moment he fell in love with her, before he really knew anything about her except for that single word she'd only just said to him. And he can see how, if she had turned out to be a completely different person, if he had turned out to feel differently about her than he does...

...well, he doesn't know it, but the picture building in his head looks a lot like the Joker's relationship with the Bat.

He likes what they really have better than that.

Except apparently they're not going to have it for very much longer, because she keeps trying to tell him the reasons she hates this guy aren't reasons that are true about him and they keep being true about him, and fuck he is just going to cry now.

[manofmyword]

The Joker hugs Alice and, probably wisely, doesn't say anything.

[self_composed]

[I think I'm going about this explanation all wrong,] Bella says after a pause. [I don't actually tend to judge people based on 'the kind of person' I think they are. Like, Libby is totally the kind of person who will run a criminal organization and spy on people and sometimes kidnap them. If I met an alternate Libby who had all that turned up to eleven, I wouldn't care for that one. That Libby would be dangerous to the people around her and I would be doing her world a favor if I removed her somehow. And finding her wouldn't astonish me based on what I know about the Libby in our world. But our Libby is, in fact, happy to have me take over the world and arrange it so none of those things are necessary and even hand me enough power that I can stop her if she changes her mind about doing them, and I am under no obligation to judge her based on how she could have gone if something different happened when she was - I don't know, twelve. I am under no obligation to judge you based on what the Joker has in fact done given that in fact you aren't going to do it, because I am not planning to dissolve our relationship over this, I am planning to take you home with me and kiss you and give you your present and we're going to live forever roaming around the universe doing magic to it and you will never have a reason to blow up a hospital or set a district attorney on fire and if you ever really want to do those things we can put mockups on Io and you can arrange it there because I love you. Okay?]

She didn't really plan to say that last bit, but it happened, and she's going to let it stay there.

[edgeofyourseat]

...well.

That was unexpected.

[Okay,] he says. [I love you too.]

He really, really does. He's practically bubbling over with it. And still crying, but it's good crying now, snuggle-down-and-love-everything crying.