plotting to unnerve her

[self_composed]

Bella finds Milliways in the moon palace instead of one of her balconies.

"Huh," she says aloud.

Then, to Alice, Libby, Elena, and Mary, and Lazarus except he autoreplies with a busy message, [Hey folks, Moonstone Palace grew a bar that I don't remember putting in, come check it out.]

Comments

[manofmyword]

"It took a while," he says, kissing the top of Alice's head. "And it hurt, and I felt all fucked up, and I didn't really know what was going on in my head. Sound familiar?"

[edgeofyourseat]

He snorts. "Yeah, just a little."

[manofmyword]

"Yeah." He grins. "So. You wanna know the secret?"

[edgeofyourseat]

"There is no secret," Alice says tiredly.

[self_composed]

"Now they're doing some kind of bizarre alternate-versions-of-the-same-person therapy," Bella says. "This might be weirder."

[manofmyword]

"Almost," says the Joker.

"There is one thing, though." He takes a breath, lets it out. "You have to forgive yourself for hurting," he says softly.

[edgeofyourseat]

That doesn't make any sense.

"That doesn't make any sense," says Alice.



"I am deeply worried about anyone getting therapy from the Joker," says Roberta.

[self_composed]

"I am too. So far it's looking like advice I might have given myself if I'd ever thought of it, though. Maybe I should have thought of it, or tried to. I dunno. He always seemed functional enough to me, but..."

[edgeofyourseat]

"...If anything, I'm even more worried about the Joker giving someone good advice," says Roberta.

[manofmyword]

"Think about it," says the Joker, kissing Alice's forehead. "I'll wait."

[edgeofyourseat]

Okay, so he does.

And...

It doesn't come clear all at once; it does it in pieces, slowly, here and there. The fact that he gets mad at himself when something is fucking with him, like he thinks he should be better than that. But he's not; nobody is. By admission, his ballpark-of-thirty alternate future self isn't either. The fact that he's still half convinced that he brought this shit on himself the first time, even though he knows with crystal clarity that that is bullshit. The fact that despite not really believing things can be wrong with people in general, he thinks there's something wrong with him for what he just asked the Joker to do, for wanting that, for getting off on it when it happened for real.

"Oh," he murmurs.

[self_composed]

"Why?" Bella asks Roberta, genuinely curious.

[edgeofyourseat]

"Because if he's giving someone bad advice it's easier to guess why," Roberta explains.

[manofmyword]

"Yeah. Oh."

He hugs Alice a little closer.

"You okay?"

[edgeofyourseat]

"Mhm," he sighs, curling up in the Joker's arms, and he takes down his busy message.

(He wonders if she's mad at him. Probably. Only one way to find out, though.)

[self_composed]

Bella doesn't trust herself to talk to Alice right now, not if he's not going to talk to her first.

"Is it really? He seems to mostly run on a desire to see how people who interest him will react to things. I think he has enough background information on Alice that it's entirely possible giving him good advice is more interesting in that way."

[edgeofyourseat]

...Roberta looks unsettled.



Alice is a little confused when some time goes by and Bella doesn't say anything. But he can't think of a thing in the world to say to her, so maybe she's having the same problem. He'll leave it.

[self_composed]

"What?" Bella asks. "I got the impression that you've had about a million opportunities to figure out how he ticks. This can't be news to you, can it?"

[edgeofyourseat]

"I've never exactly sat him down and had a heart-to-heart," says Roberta.

[manofmyword]

The Joker snuggles Alice gently and lets him have his own thoughts in his own time.

[self_composed]

"Didn't you have him locked up with you in a police interrogation room at one point?"

[edgeofyourseat]

She grimaces. "Yes, and it didn't end well. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie, anyway."

[self_composed]

"Then how in the world do you suppose I know that you had him in a police interrogation room?"

[edgeofyourseat]

"I didn't mean that as a logical absolute," she says tartly.

[self_composed]

Bella smiles slightly. "Sorry. But - well, I suppose it doesn't matter if you have him figured out, if you escort me to your place to put him on an asteroid. I should pick an asteroid. I assume your astronomy matches mine."