self_composed | i'm just that fascinating i guess

i'm just that fascinating i guess

The first day Bella spends out and about with her new who's-watching-me powers, she is rather alarmed.

Maybe she's just mistaken about how much time people spend looking at reasonably pretty eighteen-year-old girls. She kills a pentagon to try it on a nearby control - who's looking at that girl over there?

Fewer people. Fewer people are looking at that random girl, and less intently. They're looking at her familiarly - they know her - or casually - they're checking her out.

[I have a spy problem,] Bella says. She makes a faintly exaggerated show of snapping her fingers in frustration and turning around. She's going back to her room to get a mirror and bobby pins and barettes, so she can spy back on the pretense of checking her hair, without making it overwhelmingly obvious that she knows what's going on.

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Mints are also the only true duplicate power I've ever seen. That might have something to do with it. Maybe there's only one way to be a mint.

Well, that goes back to what interpreting powers is like.

This is a bad way to put it, but I can't think of any better ones: The way a power 'looks' always has some qualities that make me think of things that are like how the power works. The little bird's power looks strong and solid and, I don't know, outward? It just looks like the kind of thing that's for protecting people. And Kolya's power looks shy and like it wants to be hiding behind something at all times. My power has an outwardness to it, too, but it's not exactly the same outwardness. And it's kind of angular and all-over-the-place, like sugar crystals. (Trying to describe powers in terms of the regular senses is usually doomed to failure, but once in a while I get good analogies referencing shape or size. A certain someone's is exactly person-sized, for example, although that has nothing to do with the size it appears to have in the physical world, because all powers are also the shape and size of the people who have them. But on a different level, they meaningfully aren't. Confused yet?)

So: the mint power 'looks' like a thing that turns pain into wishes.

I repeat: most fucked up power ever.

Maybe it's a conspiracy and the native mint does it differently but only sells this kind of minting to limit others' power! Wait, that's technically not a conspiracy, it only calls for one person. But you know what I mean.

I am a little confused, but maybe not as confused as you fear? I understand you're trying to talk about an extra sense with a language designed around its absence.

What else do you know about the wishes? What does "complexity" or "size" mean in terms of whether a wish needs one kind of coin or another? Is there any reason for people to be associated with the colors they are or does that seem random?

Bella's pretty sure it's not a conspiracy. She tried hexing herself a better wishcoining power once, even though Elias said it wouldn't work in his book. It didn't work.

I don't know a lot about the wishes. And like I said, I haven't exactly seen enough colour combinations to have a good theory. That one mint didn't particularly seem like a sea-green person or anything.

I don't really know what complexity or size mean other than the obvious. Well, I guess "the obvious" isn't necessarily all that obvious. Bigger-and-more-complicated wishes are wishes that accomplish more things, or more of a thing. If I'd wanted to, I don't know, fix a broken arm as well as my clicky jaw, that might have taken a coin with one more side. Or even a broken arm instead of my clicky jaw. But I don't have any more than the vaguest possible sense of how the size of a wish actually relates to the number of sides it needs. For that matter, I don't know how many sides a coin can have. Maybe it stops at five, or maybe it keeps going up indefinitely and the most powerful coins just look like circles.

Bella catches up in her summary to Alice. [I don't suppose you'd like to try making something with eight corners?] she asks idly. [One hundred K triangles, assuming the pattern holds? Could you even make a coin at that point? Would I just wind up frying your brain even if I took you up slow? That would be bad, I need your brain for various purposes.] He's sufficiently ambivalent about dying when the concept isn't presented in relation to her that she doesn't bother referring to anything he might use his brain for.

Have you met Bridget before? It occurs to me that I have no idea - I quizzed her extensively and she always had explanations for how she knew everything, she never said "Lazarus told me that I could do X" or anything. It just seems like you could develop a lot more usefulness if you had more of a sample size to look at properly, and she might not object, though I'd have to ask.

I dunno. What do you do with your time, anyway, nonbird, since you don't run Hogwarts?

[This guy seems like the best chance I have of finding out what the hell is the matter with stars - directly, or indirectly by getting him to find mints until he finds one who knows,] Bella remarks. [I'm considering dropping secrecy around him after I know him a bit better. He may wish to perform sinister experiments on you.]

[No idea,] Alice says cheerfully, regarding her speculation about eight-cornered coins. [I sure as hell wouldn't mind trying, though.]

He wouldn't mind frying his brain in the process, either—it sounds like pretty much the best way to go that he can think of—but he'd mind that she minded, kind of.

[Would I like his sinister experiments? I bet I'd like his sinister experiments. I wonder if he's cute.]

Bridget's the physicist, isn't she? Dr. Banner? I've seen her, but not talked to her extensively. Her power is interesting. You'd think it would look like the little bird's, but it doesn't at all, even though there's some overlap in effect.

I have a boring nonmagical job where I do boring nonmagical things. I also like wandering around watching strangers do things. I'm told this is a creepy hobby.

[I think perhaps let's save that for a desperate magical arms race after stockpiling an entire roomful of hexes,] Bella decides. [You might indeed like his sinister experiments. I have not visually observed him, but I relayed his roommate's description, which is unflattering either sincerely or insincerely.]

Yes, she's a physicist. That's funny that her power doesn't resemble little bird's - can you describe the differences via poorly-suited metaphor in uncooperative words, please?

Boring nonmagical job sounds like the worst thing. In particular, it sounds boring.

I think people-watching is a thing. I mean, there's a word for it. And it makes sense in your case.

[I bet he's cute,] Alice says cheerfully.

> can you describe the differences via poorly-suited metaphor in uncooperative words, please?

Oh, yes, that's my favourite. :P

They do the same thing, or part of the same thing, but they do it in very different ways. The little bird's power is very outward, like I said; it goes outward from her to the person she's protecting and then looks outward again to guard them. Bridget's power is very, very inward. It works on her, not on the world around her. And it's big and small at the same time, like there's really three times as much Bridget as the world gets to see, trying to press itself down into just slightly less space than she nominally occupies. (Powers looking a little smaller than their people isn't unique—Kolya's does it too—but I've never seen one be simultaneously bigger like that.)

[It occurs to me to ask if we're being exclusive. I'm going to guess "no, that would be too conventional and then we'd have to have a confusing conversation about whether sinister experiments constitute cheating".]

Bridget's power just working on her makes sense to me. She was kind enough to let me try to break her wrist. It didn't go. Nothing happened to me, her wrist just wasn't a breakable thing. I'd be vaguely curious what would happen if I made an attempt at attacking the little bird's niece - I imagine her wrist wouldn't break either, but it might not-break in an interestingly different way.

How long have you known all these various magical people?

[Well, forget what's conventional for a minute,] says Alice. [Do you want me to not have sexy experiments with other people?]

He has no idea if he could follow such a rule, but he wants to know the answer nevertheless. And for the record, Bella can do all the sexy experimenting she wants with whoever she wants and Alice will have no problem with that at all.

Bella considers this. [I suppose that given sufficient magic making the excess complications of diseases and babies not-a-problem, the only thing that has me worried is that someone else will do their equivalent of calling you a freak, and then I have to share not just my boyfriend but also my pet masochist, and then I have to keep that person happy or run the risk of turning them into my archenemy and not having my advantage. But that could happen without sexy experiments, too, perhaps just as easily considering the timeline with you and me. So it makes more sense to focus on mitigating the possibility that I will wind up sharing you with an archenemy than just naively banning sinister experimentation with magic-detectors who may or may not be cute and expecting that to solve the quandary.]

He takes a moment to disentangle this, and then laughs.

[Yeah, who I fuck and who I fall in love with are pretty much not related.] Not in that causal direction, anyway, and historically not really in the other one either.

If I were you, I wouldn't try it.

I've known these various magical people various amounts of time! Kolya the longest, the little bird next.

[So, how do we avoid you falling in love with somebody who might wind up being my nemesis?] Bella asks practically. [Tumble into bed with whoever you like, don't get sick or create life please till further notice, but this nemesis thing could be problematic. I might already have one. Somebody could and did send a mess of spies after me. If I were my nemesis, the first thing I would do would be go after you.]

Why not? It wouldn't work any more than it did on Bridget. And I'd ask first. Ethical experimental procedures, and all. I don't know little bird's niece, of course, but if I met her why not inquire?

Sure, but when did you meet Kolya?

[We don't,] says Alice, also practically. [I mean, I don't know what's gonna make me fall in love until it happens, and I don't know who I'm gonna fall in love with until I do. And I wouldn't know who might be your nemesis just by looking, anyway.]

He's not sure it's as much of a problem as Bella makes it out to be, though. If Freddie Mercury rose from the dead tomorrow and tried to recruit him to conquer the world at the head of a horde of fabulous zombies, he would probably side with Bella in the ensuing conflict, despite the self-evident awesomeness of Freddie Mercury with a zombie horde.

[So... you're pretty sure that I win in any of various contests between me and miscellaneous others you could fall in love with?] Bella asks. [Just because I showed up first or what? How do you know? I think you and I are both already protected against various direct attacks I'd try if I were my nemesis, but not against just plain mind-changing...]

Edited 2012-11-01 19:17 (UTC)

[Sure, I might change my mind,] he says with a shrug, [but we can't really do anything about that, either. And I don't think I will. I love you.]

He can't even imagine the qualities someone would need to have before that person being themselves would be as intrinsically fascinating to him as Bella being Bella.

I just don't think it would be a good idea.

Years and years ago, why?

[Could you imagine me before you met me?] Bella counters. [It's not like you've been around for sixty years and have a really prolonged experience to develop working knowledge of human variation and your own predilections, here.]

But why do you think that?

I'm curious about correlations between how long you've known someone and how much you know about their power. And, there seems to be this whole network of magic people that I just stumbled across and I want to know how long it's existed.

[Okay,] says a somewhat confused Alice, [so what the hell exactly do you expect me to do about this hypothetical person who I haven't met yet and have no idea what they're like?]

[I don't have any expectations for you about that, at the moment. I expect to be paranoid and run at an extra half-a-brain so I can do other things while I worry.]

[Well, that sounds like the opposite of fun.]

Well, I'm a lot more familiar with Kolya's power than anyone else's because I've been living with him for (I just checked) two years. It's not how long I've known them that matters, really, it's how well I know them.

Is a collection of loosely acquainted people a network?

[It's not great,] Bella agrees. [But you are an exceptionally valuable resource, or an exceptionally powerful solo player, in a world full of wishcoiners. If I didn't have you, I'd want you, and if someone else had you and I couldn't get you I'd want you dead or crippled. Since in reality I have you, I have to expect that other people want you, or want you dead or crippled, and since you are my exceptionally valuable resource I don't want that to happen. So, I will think about it. Paranoidly.]

Sure it is. It's not a club or a political party or even a circle of friends, but it's certainly a network.

Have you met little bird's niece?

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i'm just that fascinating i guess

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