If only Alice knew of this, he would be giggling so much.

Instead he is... having a remarkably similar conversation with Hilary, actually.

"So, you knew she'd be back."

"Mm," says Alice.

"You went to Europe with her."

"Mm," says Alice, and adds a shrug for good measure.

"Are you two...?" She makes a vague cyclic gesture with both hands.

"Screwing? Nope," says Alice.

"And that is simultaneously both more than I wanted to know and less than I asked. Congratulations."

"Heh," says Alice.